Charlie Irvine

I’m just curious about conflict
Where do you stand on conflict? Is it war or just disagreement with colleagues? Is it something you would rather avoid or do you relish the challenge it brings? If you’re up for the challenge, are you looking to win, or are you curious enough to explore what it’s all about and open enough to go where it takes you?

I find that the way I use the word ‘conflict’ is often a real challenge for people. It presses buttons, lights the blue touch paper, sends people scurrying for the hills. Whatever, it opens up a real can of words.

Many of us struggle even to get past the word, as if it were a large boulder blocking the corridor of enlightenment (which, as you know, is on the top floor, just around the corner from the Chief Exec’s office, where the decent bit of carpet starts).

Conflict? Isn’t it really the struggle with things that we have not resolved or discussed? It’s not so unusual to view conflict this way. How many of us are educated in school, home or life to grapple with conflict in constructive, useful, effective ways? Instead, we’re brought up to adopt the most amazing diversionary tactics, stretching from punching someone on the nose to passing it off as humour – both perfect ways of burying the conflict temporarily and entrenching it for almost ever.

I start off from the assumption that one day we human beings will use the gift of language to have the kind of conversations we need to have. And, with global warming, I’m not hanging around. As far as I’m concerned, that time is now and I have the means to give people some practical techniques that are easy to apply once you’ve grasped the need for that bit of what I call Nigerian courage.

What will it take to make you curious about conflict? Who has got control of your tongue?

Charlie Irvine

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